I wake up and I do not know what to do with myself. An era has ended and my new beginning looks like a faded light in the horizon. There are so many questions in my head, but the answers are so few. It pains me. Everything hurts now that I’ve entered my most sensitive stage of discovery. My family thinks I despise them. I barely talk; I barely am in front of them. The truth is I can barely be by myself since I’m not quite sure who that is. I am a million emotions and sensations and all the while so empty and dark. Everything smells of nothing. And I don’t need the questions, the advice of my unknowing blood. You don’t know me, not really. You don’t know what I need, not ever. You exist, you conform and you let your minds sit still – you are believers. I, I am a dreamer, I fight and I dread the inevitable decay of this body of mine – I think for my own self; I lovingly imagine and I passionately create. Now do tell me, if we are as alike as you wish we were. Do you envy me or do you not even bother to try to see past the appearances? Either way, stop putting words in my mouth; stop blindly guessing my wants and feels; stop trying to control me.