So many years I’ve walked this earth, but still I find myself feeling like an outsider. I can write so easily on paper or in a lazy computer program, but a typewriter feels like too much of a commitment.
I’m tired. So fucking tired I can barely keep my eyes open; everything hurts. But I keep going to bed at 2 am just for the hell of it. That’s what my common sense tells me, at least… I know damn well I’m just avoiding daylight.
Can’t even dare being bored since I’ve heard it is only “for people with no imagination”. I know I’m imaginative, I also know other people aren’t aware of that saying, but I still prefer to be careful.
I like sleeping late on the weekends, but now I’m constantly falling asleep in the afternoons. At night I get so little sleep I dream of nothingness, but the light REM free resting hours after school are getting scarier and scarier. I am now terrified of my own mind.
I’ve been wanting for everything to go back to the way it used to be; I failed to see that this particular routine is quite pleasant. But, in between forced naps, I failed to realize the way things are is making me intentionally and, ever so slowly, rot my brain.
I’m not a normal person. I don’t think I ever was, so I’m glad I found someone else, for a change. The others, I may forget. But you… we are part of what poisons my blood.
Love & Waterproof Cameras,